Many have concluded that being strong means suppressing negative emotions, yet according to Executive Coach Michelle Pearson Young, such a notion could not be further from the truth. It is critical for one to be able to pinpoint the root cause of negative thoughts and limiting beliefs to succeed. In this episode of Minority Business Access, host Solomon RC Ali and Michelle Pearson Young discuss why entrepreneurs should enlist help from coaches who create safe spaces for them to navigate and overcome the very real feelings of uncertainty and inadequacy. The world needs you to achieve, so make space to do exactly that.
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It’s Safe Here With Michelle Pearson Young
Michelle, I’m so excited to have you on the show. I am totally thrilled. What I want to do because I won’t do great justice in introducing you is I want you to introduce yourself to my audience.
I’m happy to do it. My name is Michelle Pearson Young and I am an Executive Coach. I am seriously very delighted to be here with you. I’m a huge Solomon fan. I’m actually nervous now.
I have to say, I was having a problem in business trying to break through a certain level and it dawned on me that just like in sports, you need a coach. In business, you need a coach, a mentor or things of that nature. Michelle came very highly recommended. I use Michelle and I start breaking through different barriers. What I would like for Michelle to tell everyone is the importance of being a coach helping entrepreneurs go through the difficulties that may be things from their childhood or false things that they think that they know but they really don’t know so that they can break through some things.
People need to be able to say what they’re thinking, and a coach helps with that.
Thank you very much. I’m an Executive Coach and if I’m being completely honest, which I would rather not, I would rather be like, “I’m so fancy. I was born super smart. I know all the things.” What I discovered was as my life had gotten closer and closer to the way I wanted it to look. I had a relationship. I had the kids. I have the expression and the abundance in my life that I wanted. When I’ve got to that point, what happened for me at least as I thought, “I still don’t feel that good. I’ve got everything that I wanted but I still don’t feel happy inside. There’s got to be something more.” That’s how I started on the journey of not only doing it for myself, which was my primary. It is like, “What do I need to do here?”
In addition to that, it was, “How can I teach other people,” because I know really smart and very successful people. If I’m not feeling that fulfillment inside, if I’m still feeling unsure, even though people tell me I look confident, other people are going to feel that too. I became a coach because people need to say things out loud. People need to be able to say what they’re thinking. Especially for entrepreneurs, there’s not a safe place to do that. You’ve got your teams, you’ve got your relationships, you’ve got a lot of people and you are standing there being strong for them. Where do you go to say, “I don’t feel strong now?”
That’s what a coach does. A coach listens. It’s a lot of listening. If you are looking for a coach, make sure that you are doing a lot of talking and the coach is doing a lot of listening because it’s about the other person and being able to say it. This is the funniest part of it. I get to do my favorite thing, which is to reflect on what I hear my clients say. I reflect on them, “I think I heard you say this, is that right?” A lot of times, that’s it. Other times, I get to ask questions that they haven’t necessarily asked themselves. Those questions clarify their thinking and all of a sudden they go, “I understand now.”
Make sure you’re doing a lot of talking, and your coach is doing a lot of listening.
Let me ask you a question. I know the help that you’ve given me over the years and how much it has impacted my life. It helped to increase my net worth. Being a coach and working with different people from different walks of life. Most of my people are going to be minority people and entrepreneurs from different walks of life as well. What would you say is the number one thing that they need to receive or should know from a coach?
The number one thing is that I would invite them, you and me into questioning what you think your limits are. Imagining that, “It can’t quite be you because and then fill in the blank, it’s the color of your skin. It can’t be me because,” and then you imagine that you don’t have that certificate on the wall. “It can’t be me because of on and on.” We all think those limiting beliefs, is what I call them and many other coaches call them, have merit to them and the truth is, they don’t. They are opinions and often opinions given by other people. We are told culturally, “You have to look or act like this, or have these things.” They are given to us by our parents, teachers and ourselves. Those are the worst ones where we say, “I shouldn’t try that because.”
For women, a lot of times it’s how much we weigh. “I can’t be successful because I don’t look beautiful, perfect or my weight on the scale. For men, a lot of times it’s the dollar amount in a bank account or that they didn’t get that respect. The one thing that I would invite every single person reading this to do is to ask and question themselves, “Is that a fact and opinion or an emotion that I’m dealing with?” Almost without exception, you are limiting thoughts are based on opinions that you think are facts.
Why is a coach necessary?
A coach is a super cool thing. It’s the greatest.
Literally, I don’t know if I was skeptical or a little hesitant but after working with you, the things that I don’t know if I had a fear or just was procrastinating and I wouldn’t pull the trigger on, I’m pulling the trigger on now. I feel much lighter. I’m watching all this new stuff happen and it’s really cool stuff. I’m like, “This is pretty neat.” Where before I was like, “I will kick that down the road a little bit before I do it.” I knew I needed to do that or at least it crossed my mind but I didn’t have permission. That’s what I want you to do is because you helped me to get out of that shell or get out of my way. That’s what I want you to tell them, why they need the coach, how you can help them to get out of the way of themselves to achieve the things that they want to achieve.
That the world needs them to achieve. The thing about it is that there are things that are in our hearts that are placed there by God, by the infinite, by the universe. There are things that we want to do, be, have and experience in impacts that we want to make. The reason that coaching is important is it is a safe space. I like to draw a picture of a brain when I’m talking to my clients. I drew this really remedial picture of the brain and I showed it to the client. I filled the bottom part of the brain. I X-ed it out and scribbled it all over it. I said and you can fill in the blanks, “This is your anger. This is your fear. These are the limiting beliefs that you have had in the past that we were taught to squish them down.” If I feel angry, I should squish them down or if I feel uncomfortable in a room with people that I’m supposed to feel safe with, I’m going to squish that down. It might seem it’s a tiny little amount of your brain. It’s only a fifth of your brain in my picture. It’s a metaphor.
Even if it’s just a fifth of your brain, think about using a fifth of your brain to not do what you want to do, to not experience what you want to have. That’s a lot of brainpower that’s being used to push down emotions that are meant to serve us. We are in a really big room now. This is a huge area. What a coach does is you get to take that part of your experience out, what you are using your brain bandwidth for and put it in this room. Now, it’s minuscule based on the space. That’s what a coach does. It gives you quite a lot of your brainpower and puts it in a room. You get to sort it out and all of a sudden, what you are doing is you are freeing up your brainpower to accomplish what you want.
Was that what you did?
That is not what I did. That’s what you did.
That’s what you have me do. Literally, I feel empowered. I was going through the stuff. I know you asked me about the SEC stuff. One of the things you kept telling me is, “You have permission to be angry.” I kept going around like, “No, I don’t have the right to be angry. They are just trying to do their jobs and things of that nature.” Although I felt, “This is unfair, this is unjust what they are doing,” and it’s all checking out that it’s unfair and unjust but I didn’t have permission to be upset or angry. You got that out of me and so that I could deal with it and I was like, “We are going all the way.” That was one of the things that were very freeing and exciting. It was like, “I knew I was right. I knew I didn’t do anything wrong,” but you question and doubt yourself because this big government agency, all-powerful, is saying that you did something wrong, this and that. It’s difficult. Other people are like, “Just settle and get it behind you.” You hear all these voices. I was dealing with all of that, lots of other things and stuff like that. Here comes you coaching my life and dealing with it now is a lot easier. That helped. How would you help other people? How would you do for them what you did for me?
It was such a good question because the principles are always the same. Your life experiences, the SEC issues and all of those things are uniquely Solomon. They are you and they are your experiences. That being said and the thing is we all walk into an event or into a situation. We imagine that we are the only one that’s going, “I hope somebody talks to me and am I even qualified to be here?” We think that these are unique thoughts to ourselves. What I get to do is listen to the unique individual, Solomon, Jonah and Micah. We believe that we are coming in with unique fears and I hope you don’t mind me saying, I have continued to be impressed with your willingness to be open and transparent with it. When anybody can come to me and say, “This is what I’m afraid of or this is what I’m going through or let me tell you the truth now,” that’s when them saying it out loud having a safe space because if it is scary and bad, it’s a safe place to say it.
Based on what you have told me. You have been able to come, talk about it, be open about it and have me say, “I think I’m hearing some anger in your voice.” You are going, “No, that’s not what I have but talking it out.” Whatever anybody’s own personal demons are, their present challenges or that they are looking for that next level up or they are looking at their lives going, “It should feel good but it doesn’t feel as good as I want it to.” That’s when we get to take it out of your brain, question what it is, ask what you would love to have instead of that thing that has been troubling you and get some new software downloaded in your brain.
You’re living thoughts are based on opinions that you think are facts.
As a coach, I know how you have helped me. I know what you can do for them. If you will, please share how they can get ahold of you.
As your business partner says, know what your superpowers are and know what you suck at? What I suck at is technology. I could tell you to go to a website and where you would be impressed but the truth is, if you try to email me from that website, it probably won’t get to me because I haven’t kept up on it. Is it weird if I give my phone number for people to text me?
That’s if you want to.
I like weirdos. It’s (503) 957-0821. Text me and tell me what demons are in your head unless they are super scary. If you want to do it the normal people way, you can email me at MichelleAtPlay@Gmail.com.
Michelle, I want to thank you so much for everything that you have done for me. In helping me to get rid of all the monsters and we’ve got more monsters to get rid of. I haven’t reached my number yet. I’m excited but it has been a beautiful year. We are starting a great year. Anyone, if you are very serious about being in business, running a business, whether you are one year, just starting, been in it for 5 or 10 years, you need a coach. You need someone to talk to. You can’t talk to your employees. A lot of times you can’t even talk to your spouse about it. You can’t talk to the people around you and you have to work out some things. Normally, if you work those things out with a coach, you will figure things out about yourself that will allow you to be a lot more successful. Reach out to Michelle, hit her up, become more successful. Have a better year and prosper a little bit more. I want to thank you so much for coming to the show.
Thank you so much for having me. It truly is an honor to be here.
Thank you so much, Michelle.
About Michelle Young
I live in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with my husband on what we’ve lovingly named The Young Family Ranch & Zombie Apocalypse Sanctuary.
I’m a collector of sorts. I collect languages, information and experiences. What I’ve enjoyed studying almost more than anything else is the human condition, development and success. That curiosity about communication, people and success set me on the path to a career in speaking, teaching and coaching.
What I love best about the business of human success is connecting with clients in a way that gives me front-row seats to watch their remarkable transformations.
I provide direction when things seem dark and reflect truth when failure seems imminent.
We are creations of the Creative. We are the Universe manifest and our unique makeup of genetics, epigenetics, life experiences and personality are a divine moment in time. It’s our mandate to take the desires of our souls and express them fully.
I preach radical self-care. I preach pushing the boundaries of our comfort zones to enter into the world of our desires and dreams.
My group classes are carefully curated to create places of safe learning as well as a mastermind experience. Weekly conversations and Life Design assignments support change and growth. Like-minded souls and a desire for personal growth and success create an atmosphere to raise your energy and drive and keep it up throughout the week and beyond.
One-on-one clients enroll to practice these same principles in private sessions with me. Conversations where specific, life goals and events are seen and practiced through the proven life principles of the great thinkers and successes of the world.